I’ll Never Celebrate V-Day… Here’s Why

I often wonder why  I was  born in the  so-called  month of Love.  It  should have  been  April  but  it seems  I have  always  been an impatient  one… So February  it  was  and exactly  two weeks  before Valentine’s  Day  to add  insult  to  injury.  It  is  a  bit  of a  joke,  really,  my  being  born then, considering that  I am, by  my own admissions,  rather hopeless  when it  comes  to hitting on lasting love.

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Photo credit: http://www.facebook.com

I don’t  mean  to sound bitter  here, for you  see, it’s  not  that  I am  not  romantically  inclined or that  I don’t  love  chocolate,  flowers  and fluffy  animals  as  much  as  the  next  girl  (maybe  more, in fact) but the  thing is, I hate  the  idea  of people  feeling  compelled  to  buy  someone  a  dozen  blood red roses  or the  biggest  chocolate  slab in existence  to prove  that  they  care.  What’s  love  got  to  do, got  to do with that?

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Photo credit: google images

Let  me  pass  on a  little  secret  to you:  you  cannot  buy  someone’s  love  so don’t  even  try.  People  either love  you  or they  don’t, and if they  are  so shallow  as  to  require  that  you  take  them  out  to dinner or buy  them  a  giant  bunny  rabbit  with ‘I Love  U’  stitched  across  its  chest, otherwise  it’s  a  sign that  you don’t  love  them  enough or at  all,  then  there  is  something a  little  off there, I feel…

The  people  who well  and  truly  love  you  won’t  care  if  you  wish them  a  ‘Happy  V-Day!’  or if you send them  a  box of chocolate  truffles  wrapped in gold,  for they  will  love  you  on February  13th  and I promise, whatever happens  this  year on the  14th, they  will  go on loving  you  the  day  after as  well.

I’ve  never had a  Valentine  and the  most  romantic  thing  I ever received  from  someone  was  a  sunset photo so maybe  I’m  just  used to not  holding out  for much in this  regard – and truthfully,  I would like someone  to  give  me  flowers  or to buy  me  a  stuffed Minion toy  or something  ridiculously  cheesy, yet  equally  sweet  just  once  someday  – but  I am  not  going  to sit  languishing on the  14th  when  another Valentine’s  Day  comes  and goes  and I am  one  of the  many  single  people  on the  day.

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Photo credit: google images

I don’t  give  a  toss  about  my  relationship  status  either so I won’t  be  wearing black  to mourn  my  lot and I certainly  won’t  be  drowning  my  sorrows  and crooning  away  to Mariah  Carey  because  nobody wants  me  and  it  supposedly  sucks  to be  single.

You know  what’s  worse  than  not  having  a  Valentine  year in  and year out?  How  about  not  having  a mother  on Mother’s  Day  or a  father on Father’s  Day?  So maybe  there  are  worse  days  to be  without special  someone  than  on the  14th  of Feb., eh?

What’s  more, for many,  Valentine’s  is  just  a  heartbreaking  day  or bittersweet  and  sickening, even.

When everyone  around you  is  pretending to  celebrate  love  (like  that’s  a  thing… how  about  you  just love  unconditionally  and willingly  and try  prove  it  as  often as  you  can  in simple,  yet  telling  ways instead  of going out  of your way  once  a  year and  only  once  a  damn year),  you  might  be  going through a  wretched divorce,  navigating a  messy  break-up or burying the  love  of your  life…  so please,  don’t  confuse  a  stupid, commercialised  day  with real  love  and devotion.

I am  not  saying  you  can’t  spoil  the  one  you  adore  on  Valentine’s… I hope  you  do take  that  woman you’ve  had your  eye  on for absolute  ages  out  to dinner  or that  the  boy  you’ve  been crushing  on for months  asks  you  to be  his  Valentine  – but  more  than  that,  I hope  you  take  the  time  to realise  that love  is  not  about  how  much  you  receive,  it’s  about  how  much  you  give  away.

Also, bear  in mind  that  people  have  so many  different  ways  of expressing love  and affection.  There is  no right  or wrong way  to show  you  care  and  one  day  is  not  the  be-all  and  end-all  of your  future together  and it’s  certainly  not  a  defining point  in your relationship.

All  those  lovey  dovey  couples  who come  out  of the  shadows  to  masquerade  their  love  once  a  year? They  fight, hurt  and  bleed just  the  same  as  the  couple  who can’t  afford to  go out  to dinner  but  still they’re  crazy  about  each other  or the  ones  who sit  in  sullen silence  because  he  forgot  that  Valentine’s matters  and  she  is  pissed off about  it.  They  might  put  on a  great  show  of it  on the  day  but  honestly, their  problems  do not  fade  simply  because  they  can  afford to splash out  or lavish each  other with gifts  and that  designer  love  don’t  mean nothing  at  all  if  it’s  just  there  to keep  up appearances.

I hope  that  if I ever  am  in  a  relationship when  Valentine’s  rolls  around (to the  resounding sound of ‘ugh’  uttered the  world  over) that  my  man  will  sense  that  I don’t  need  him  to  take  me  out  to  dinner or spoil  me  on  that  day  for me  to believe  he  loves  and  cares  for me.  It’s  not  to say  that  I’ll  refuse  to let him  in  the  door if  he  comes  bearing a  bottle  of white  wine  and sinful  dark chocolate  or painstakingly  agrees  to binge  watch all  six seasons  of  Downton  Abbey  or  Atonement  as  I splutter and coo beside  him  but  I won’t  expect  it. I won’t  need  it.  It  will  just  be  one  of the  many  bonuses  that make  life  and  love  worthwhile.

Whatever happens, I hope  we’ll  never turn  into one  of those  obnoxious  couples  who feel  that  it  is their  solemn duty  and moral  obligation to  remind  everyone  else  of the  fact  that  they  are  in  a relationship… No, we  don’t  need to  see  photos  of you  making  out  a  hundred  times  a  month on your social  media  feeds  or to hear  about  how  wonderful  your man  is  in every  status  update.  We  believe you,  we  just  don’t  really  care,  sweetheart. (Any wonder #ValentinesMustFall was trending recently?)

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Photo credit: http://www.9gag.com

Whether  you  are  single  or not  this  Valentine’s, whether you  are  going strong or walking  on uncertain ground, whether  you  have  loved  and lost  or you  are  head-over-heels  and still  falling, don’t be  spiteful  or nasty  about  it. Have  the  decency  to  respect  that  other  people  are  entitled  to be  in love even if  you  are  single  and dying to  mingle,  and in that  same  vein, to  all  the  couples  out  there,  if you are  one  half made  whole  (nearly), then  be  quietly  subtle  and appreciative, not  annoying, about  your combined  happiness.

Above  all  though, remember that  the  grass  isn’t  always  greener on the  other side  and that,  whether we  believe  it  or not, whether  it  matters  or it  doesn’t, we  will  all  be  loved by  someone  throughout each  stage  of our lives  and we  don’t  need a  silly  day,  crammed  full  of paper hearts  or jokes  about Cupid’s  shoddy  aim,  to remind us  that  love  is  free,  inexpensive  and exists  right  the  year round.

If you  love  someone,  I hope  you  find the  courage  to tell  them  but  it  should not  have  to be  on any  set day  or in any  set  way…  love  doesn’t  work like  that  – and  that’s  the  real  reason I have  and  always  will love  to  hate  V-Day  because  it  will  always  be  a  reminder  of the  fact  that  rather  than  our spreading love, we  are  limiting  it  by  trying to force  it  into a  heart-shaped  box, when it  was  intended  to be immeasurable  and as free  as  it  is  true.

Posted from WordPress for Android by T.A.Ryan

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